This one is almost too easy. For as many horror movies succeed and transcend the negative stereotypes of the genre, there are 10 more that don't manage. Sure, some can be campy fun, but some are just flat-out bad. Here are two examples: one new school and one old:
My Bloody Valentine 3-D (2009, dir. Patrick Lussier) - Here's my new school example: horror remake My Bloody Valentine. Now, I haven't seen the 1981 original, but I'm assuming it wasn't this god-awful. The new bad horror movie is all about rehashing the past. It seems to be rare that we get a scary offering that hasn't already been done before, and typically sometime in the 1980s. This is no different, except for the fact that it used a now tired gimmick to lure in helpless audience members into what was a truly terrible horror movie. The plot was infuriatingly thin, the acting was atrocious and the 3-D effects were relegated to predictable gags such as eyeballs and nudity flying out at you. I remember it being not so much frightening as annoying. For all the trouble to obtain the rights to the original and to film in 3-D and to get all those graphic nudity contracts signed, you'd think they could've put together something a little less disgustingly stinky.
Hellraiser (1987, dir. Clive Barker) - I know it's an '80s classic to some, and Clive Barker and his band of ferocious fans will probably have my head for this, but all I could think about while watching Hellraiser was how it made absolutely no sense to me. I get that Barker was trying to craft this alternative horrific universe where a group of supernatural beings lure in unwitting participants into being tortured for all eternity or some-such, but there were no scares present for me. I was left to wonder how a casting agent managed to yet again avoid finding anyone with a smidgen of talent to play in the movie and how the plot was so vague and confusing that it was impossible to be on the edge of one's seat. I'm sure it's probably some elaborate work of genius that I just flat-out don't understand, but I'm not about to give it a second look anytime soon. Maybe I could give its inexplicable NINE sequels a visit? Strangely enough, rumor has it My Bloody Valentine director Patrick Lussier is attached to direct the upcoming remake.
Showing posts with label Movie Memes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Movie Memes. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
august MOVIE MEME, day 30: my favorite horror movie
Oh, what a genre. Horror is a tricky one, to be sure. It can so easily be hit or miss, and much of it ends up hanging on what new and exciting twists the director and writer can pull off that hasn't been done before. They certainly get a much worse rep than they should, I think, because some of them can truly achieve varying degrees of brilliance.
Psycho (1960, dir. Alfred Hitchcock) - Was there really any question here? There is one quintessential horror film, and it's Psycho. Now, just to clarify, I'm a huge fan of both Jurassic Park and Rear Window, but for the record, I consider them an adventure and a thriller, respectively. The true horror champ is the story of Norman Bates and his deadly obsessive nature. And poor Janet Leigh and her unsuspecting (if deeply flawed) anti-heroine is there for the killing. What sets this flick apart from the bevy of other copycats is its incredible showmanship (That cinematography! Those daring costume choices! That legendary score!), the gut-wrenching performances from Anthony Perkins and Leigh, and the fact that despite its age, it still packs quite a terrifying wallop. From the explosive shower scene, to the impeccable tete a tete that Leigh and Perkins find themselves exchanging, Psycho is both incredibly eerie and a beautiful showcase of what movie magic truly is.
Psycho (1960, dir. Alfred Hitchcock) - Was there really any question here? There is one quintessential horror film, and it's Psycho. Now, just to clarify, I'm a huge fan of both Jurassic Park and Rear Window, but for the record, I consider them an adventure and a thriller, respectively. The true horror champ is the story of Norman Bates and his deadly obsessive nature. And poor Janet Leigh and her unsuspecting (if deeply flawed) anti-heroine is there for the killing. What sets this flick apart from the bevy of other copycats is its incredible showmanship (That cinematography! Those daring costume choices! That legendary score!), the gut-wrenching performances from Anthony Perkins and Leigh, and the fact that despite its age, it still packs quite a terrifying wallop. From the explosive shower scene, to the impeccable tete a tete that Leigh and Perkins find themselves exchanging, Psycho is both incredibly eerie and a beautiful showcase of what movie magic truly is.
Labels:
Movie Memes
Monday, August 29, 2011
august MOVIE MEME, day 29: movie that improved on second viewing
Mull over this dilemma: have you ever watched a movie and felt underwhelmed, cementing that sentiment in your psyche for many years, only to find on second viewing years later that it wasn't nearly as dismal as you had once thought?
Moonstruck (1987, dir. Norman Jewison) - One of the only dangers of becoming a young movie obsessive is treating a grade-schooler to awards-bait movies at a far too young age. I mean, I didn't understand the hoopla over Streetcar Named Desire for many years; then again, I first watched it at about age 8, so rest assured my opinion on the enduring classic has done a 180. Here is a recent example, though. As a youngster obsessed with all things Oscar, I watched Moonstruck once in my quest to become more well-versed in the movies. At the time, I thought it was a below-average flick with nothing particularly memorable in the performances or the plot. And then going into my current Oscar project, it was on my list for the 1987 lineup. A part of me wanted to maintain my earlier sentiment and continue it through the pitstop in the 1980s. But on a hunch I took another look at it and found it charming, funny, and brilliantly performed, particularly by the film's Oscar-winning star. Has your youth or your mood ever soured a movie for you, only to find out later you were horribly wrong about it?
Moonstruck (1987, dir. Norman Jewison) - One of the only dangers of becoming a young movie obsessive is treating a grade-schooler to awards-bait movies at a far too young age. I mean, I didn't understand the hoopla over Streetcar Named Desire for many years; then again, I first watched it at about age 8, so rest assured my opinion on the enduring classic has done a 180. Here is a recent example, though. As a youngster obsessed with all things Oscar, I watched Moonstruck once in my quest to become more well-versed in the movies. At the time, I thought it was a below-average flick with nothing particularly memorable in the performances or the plot. And then going into my current Oscar project, it was on my list for the 1987 lineup. A part of me wanted to maintain my earlier sentiment and continue it through the pitstop in the 1980s. But on a hunch I took another look at it and found it charming, funny, and brilliantly performed, particularly by the film's Oscar-winning star. Has your youth or your mood ever soured a movie for you, only to find out later you were horribly wrong about it?
Labels:
Movie Memes
Sunday, August 28, 2011
august MOVIE MEME, day 28: movie that shouldn't have had a sequel
Moving on to sadder topics - those sequels that were so atrocious they marred the fun and often greatness of the original films. Now, I know there are a host of trash heaps that fit this category, but I'll list one that I find particularly horrendous.
Legally Blonde 2: Red, White, & Blonde (2003, dir. Charles Herman-Wurmfeld) - After the first Legally Blonde outing introduced us to Reese Witherspoon in her first true star vehicle and beat the odds, crafting a funny dumb-blonde movie without the dumb blonde and filled with entertaining side characters, this one fell incredibly flat. It took everything that made the first movie fun and exploded it by 100 - resulting in a garishly plotted, senselessly written mess. Not even bit parts from Regina King, Sally Field, and Dana Ivey could save this sinking ship. Witherspoon does her best to elevate the material, but the laughable premise (Elle Woods going to Washington for animal rights, namely her apparently gay chihuahua) left me puzzled. This idea should've definitely been left on the cutting room floor. After being convinced to see it by my Legally Blonde #1-loving family, this movie was the reason my grandmother stopped going to the movies for a solid seven years. Let that ride on the consciences of the studio execs who let this one go to theaters.
Legally Blonde 2: Red, White, & Blonde (2003, dir. Charles Herman-Wurmfeld) - After the first Legally Blonde outing introduced us to Reese Witherspoon in her first true star vehicle and beat the odds, crafting a funny dumb-blonde movie without the dumb blonde and filled with entertaining side characters, this one fell incredibly flat. It took everything that made the first movie fun and exploded it by 100 - resulting in a garishly plotted, senselessly written mess. Not even bit parts from Regina King, Sally Field, and Dana Ivey could save this sinking ship. Witherspoon does her best to elevate the material, but the laughable premise (Elle Woods going to Washington for animal rights, namely her apparently gay chihuahua) left me puzzled. This idea should've definitely been left on the cutting room floor. After being convinced to see it by my Legally Blonde #1-loving family, this movie was the reason my grandmother stopped going to the movies for a solid seven years. Let that ride on the consciences of the studio execs who let this one go to theaters.
Labels:
Movie Memes
Saturday, August 27, 2011
august MOVIE MEME, day 27: movie that should've had a sequel
In the current culture of sequelizing everything for the sake of an extra buck, it's rare that you'd find a sentiment of a second outing actually being necessary. In fact, most of the time these incessant sequels tarnish the goodwill of the first film. But in certain cases, we were unfortunately left hanging. Here a couple...
Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events (2004, dir. Brad Silberling) - Sure, the first outing, in this case, wasn't perfect by any means, but it certainly improves on multiple viewings. And, the truth is, Lemony Snicket is some incredible source material. The 13-part series of books is so smartly and humorously written, there's no reason it wouldn't serve as a wonderful series of films. Though I thought it was shortsighted to condense the first three books into one film (it was a little rushed along for someone who read the books first), it's truly a shame that we never got to see the next three at the very least put to film. I mean, the fourth book is where all the brilliant subplots start to form! With such an able cast of adults and children alike ready to keep the momentum going, it's a real shame they didn't jump on the opportunity to continue the Series. Now that the young actors have aged, seven years later, it feels like a missed opportunity. The vision the producers and creators put together is stunning.
Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (2005, dir. Nick Park and Peter Lord) - Suffering likely from what the first film I mentioned did (lackluster box office), these two movies may not have been successes on the degree of Shrek or Harry Potter, but the quality of the movie should've given them a second shot at financial greatness. Or perhaps American audiences just couldn't get behind such a quirky and subtly hilarious duo as Wallace and Gromit? There horror-themed outing was a genius work of animation, and it was so witty when it absolutely didn't need to be, considering the visual spectacle on display. Unfortunately, an Oscar win for Best Animated Feature and a multitude of critical support wasn't enough for Aardman to continue with another W&G picture. Let's hope they've got something in the works in the near future. What movies left you disappointed with studio heads for missing a chance to sequelize?
Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events (2004, dir. Brad Silberling) - Sure, the first outing, in this case, wasn't perfect by any means, but it certainly improves on multiple viewings. And, the truth is, Lemony Snicket is some incredible source material. The 13-part series of books is so smartly and humorously written, there's no reason it wouldn't serve as a wonderful series of films. Though I thought it was shortsighted to condense the first three books into one film (it was a little rushed along for someone who read the books first), it's truly a shame that we never got to see the next three at the very least put to film. I mean, the fourth book is where all the brilliant subplots start to form! With such an able cast of adults and children alike ready to keep the momentum going, it's a real shame they didn't jump on the opportunity to continue the Series. Now that the young actors have aged, seven years later, it feels like a missed opportunity. The vision the producers and creators put together is stunning.
Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (2005, dir. Nick Park and Peter Lord) - Suffering likely from what the first film I mentioned did (lackluster box office), these two movies may not have been successes on the degree of Shrek or Harry Potter, but the quality of the movie should've given them a second shot at financial greatness. Or perhaps American audiences just couldn't get behind such a quirky and subtly hilarious duo as Wallace and Gromit? There horror-themed outing was a genius work of animation, and it was so witty when it absolutely didn't need to be, considering the visual spectacle on display. Unfortunately, an Oscar win for Best Animated Feature and a multitude of critical support wasn't enough for Aardman to continue with another W&G picture. Let's hope they've got something in the works in the near future. What movies left you disappointed with studio heads for missing a chance to sequelize?
Labels:
Movie Memes
Friday, August 26, 2011
august MOVIE MEME, day 26: least favorite legal drama
This one's a toughie. I scoured my memory for a legal drama that I really disliked, but I can't think of any. Sure, plenty of them come across stale and old hat, but I can't think of any that were truly despicable. So I ask for your help: What are the worst of the worst of the legal drama genre? Any of them truly irk you?
Labels:
Movie Memes
Thursday, August 25, 2011
august MOVIE MEME, day 25: favorite legal drama
The legal drama subgenre can typically go one of two ways - it can come off dry and been-there, done-that, or it can revive the group with a refreshing perspective on the courtroom-based big-screeners.
Dead Man Walking (1995, dir. Tim Robbins) - Now, it doesn't spend the bulk of the movie in the courtroom, but it has a great deal to do with the legal system. Dead Man Walking is an insanely good character study for its two leads. Sean Penn has never been better than as the convicted brutal murderer title character - it's a hugely difficult role to portray, but Penn embodies the character fully. And Sarandon is at the top of her peak as Sister Helen Prejean, the nun who's going through a huge crisis of conscience as the vicious killer's spiritual counsel. There's nothing dry or has-been about Dead Man Walking. It's performances are impeccable, the screenwriting is inspired, and Robbins' direction is careful and thoughtful. On top of all this, unlike many legal dramas, the movie ages incredibly well.
Dead Man Walking (1995, dir. Tim Robbins) - Now, it doesn't spend the bulk of the movie in the courtroom, but it has a great deal to do with the legal system. Dead Man Walking is an insanely good character study for its two leads. Sean Penn has never been better than as the convicted brutal murderer title character - it's a hugely difficult role to portray, but Penn embodies the character fully. And Sarandon is at the top of her peak as Sister Helen Prejean, the nun who's going through a huge crisis of conscience as the vicious killer's spiritual counsel. There's nothing dry or has-been about Dead Man Walking. It's performances are impeccable, the screenwriting is inspired, and Robbins' direction is careful and thoughtful. On top of all this, unlike many legal dramas, the movie ages incredibly well.
Labels:
Movie Memes
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
august MOVIE MEME, day 24: last movie I hated
It's tough to find hateful movies these days. With word of mouth and a critic in everyone, it's much easier to avoid awful movies if you try hard enough. Then again, occasionally one has a lapse in judgment.
Hop (2011, dir. Tim Hill) - Don't let the promotional material fool you. There's nothing appetizing or confectionary about this movie. If you enjoy fart jokes and dated pop culture references, this movie's for you. If you'd like to avoid those, as well as seeing James Marsden and Elizabeth Perkins slum it in this grandiose flop, reconsider picking this one up from Netflix. Russell Brand stars as the wascally wabbit who's heir apparent to the Easter Bunny throne. Through a series of silly missteps, he ends up living with Marsden's human character, who spends most of the movie making outlandish faces and encountering pratfalls. Clearly banking on puking vibrant colors and haphazard effects, it's just another cog in the Alvin and the Chipmunks crazy train of box office glory. And yes, the sequel will probably be twice the madness.
Hop (2011, dir. Tim Hill) - Don't let the promotional material fool you. There's nothing appetizing or confectionary about this movie. If you enjoy fart jokes and dated pop culture references, this movie's for you. If you'd like to avoid those, as well as seeing James Marsden and Elizabeth Perkins slum it in this grandiose flop, reconsider picking this one up from Netflix. Russell Brand stars as the wascally wabbit who's heir apparent to the Easter Bunny throne. Through a series of silly missteps, he ends up living with Marsden's human character, who spends most of the movie making outlandish faces and encountering pratfalls. Clearly banking on puking vibrant colors and haphazard effects, it's just another cog in the Alvin and the Chipmunks crazy train of box office glory. And yes, the sequel will probably be twice the madness.
Labels:
Movie Memes
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
august MOVIE MEME, day 23: first movie I hated
Hate is such a strong word. Though I hesitate to say I "hate" anything per se, I suppose it was pretty new and strange the first time I realized a movie could be bad. I was a mere eight years old when my pure ideals of movie magic were disheveled by the following...
The Pebble and the Penguin (1995, dir. N/A) - I'll admit, I haven't seen this movie since its theatrical release - for very good reason, of course. But due to that, I barely remember even the premise. I'll let IMDb due some assisting in that area: Hubie the penguin wants to win the girl of his dreams by presenting her with a betrothal pebble, but is thwarted by an evil romantic foe. For someone in elementary school to pick up on the chauvinistic tendencies of this movie must mean they were pretty clear as day. (Perhaps the fact that the move has no credited director bodes illy for its quality chances.) I distinctly remember the women as wimpy, buxom property of their male counterparts being very evident throughout the duration. And can we talk about the fact that the female penguins had bizarre body proportions, hourglass figure and full chest and all? The movie was just atrocious - even obvious to an eight-year-old.
The Pebble and the Penguin (1995, dir. N/A) - I'll admit, I haven't seen this movie since its theatrical release - for very good reason, of course. But due to that, I barely remember even the premise. I'll let IMDb due some assisting in that area: Hubie the penguin wants to win the girl of his dreams by presenting her with a betrothal pebble, but is thwarted by an evil romantic foe. For someone in elementary school to pick up on the chauvinistic tendencies of this movie must mean they were pretty clear as day. (Perhaps the fact that the move has no credited director bodes illy for its quality chances.) I distinctly remember the women as wimpy, buxom property of their male counterparts being very evident throughout the duration. And can we talk about the fact that the female penguins had bizarre body proportions, hourglass figure and full chest and all? The movie was just atrocious - even obvious to an eight-year-old.
Labels:
Movie Memes
Monday, August 22, 2011
august MOVIE MEME, day 22: last black and white movie I saw
We're on the home stretch now. The revitalization tour is soon coming to a close. This next category is tricky - it seems I simply don't spend enough time watching this half of movie-dom, since the last one I remember watching also happens to be my all-time favorite.
Bringing Up Baby (1938, dir. Howard Hawks) - It should come as no shock that my all-time fave just so happens to fit the bill for this particular category. Bringing Up Baby is the last B&W movie I took in, as far as I can recall. But so what - it's brilliant and hilarious and I watch it at least several times a year. It's likely that this categorization will change very soon, though, with The Artist entering our lives. It'll likely take the spot until my Great Big Academy Awards Project leads me into the 1960s.
Bringing Up Baby (1938, dir. Howard Hawks) - It should come as no shock that my all-time fave just so happens to fit the bill for this particular category. Bringing Up Baby is the last B&W movie I took in, as far as I can recall. But so what - it's brilliant and hilarious and I watch it at least several times a year. It's likely that this categorization will change very soon, though, with The Artist entering our lives. It'll likely take the spot until my Great Big Academy Awards Project leads me into the 1960s.
Labels:
Movie Memes
Sunday, August 21, 2011
august MOVIE MEME, day 21: my favorite underused actor
It's a tough word to define, but I see the term "underused" as a combination of both lacking in deserving roles and misuse. Now, though I've loved the performances of this actress, I think that she's far too good to have stayed such a quiet presence in filmdom...
Laura Linney - I know that she's got three Oscar nominations under her belt, as well as three Emmys and two Golden Globes, but darnit... Laura Linney is underused! The insanely talented woman has managed to lose for an incredible performance (You Can Count on Me), as well as to not become the big star she deserves to be. She's easily one of the best working actresses around, and she was so lacking in parts deserving of her abilities, she had to do what many film actresses over 40 have had to do - seek out creative projects on the small screen. Don't get me wrong - The Big C is spectacular, and Linney plays Cathy Jamison so wonderfully, but how has this multi-faceted and stellar performer avoided the Kodak stage for so long?
Laura Linney - I know that she's got three Oscar nominations under her belt, as well as three Emmys and two Golden Globes, but darnit... Laura Linney is underused! The insanely talented woman has managed to lose for an incredible performance (You Can Count on Me), as well as to not become the big star she deserves to be. She's easily one of the best working actresses around, and she was so lacking in parts deserving of her abilities, she had to do what many film actresses over 40 have had to do - seek out creative projects on the small screen. Don't get me wrong - The Big C is spectacular, and Linney plays Cathy Jamison so wonderfully, but how has this multi-faceted and stellar performer avoided the Kodak stage for so long?
Labels:
Movie Memes
Saturday, August 20, 2011
august MOVIE MEME, day 20: a movie I'm ashamed to say I haven't seen
Hooray! More shame-based blogging! This time around, though, it's not about shame-based movie-loving or hating. It's about shame-based lack of movie-watching. What are those big movies that are essentials that you've managed to miss for your life thus far? My confessions include never having seen The Matrix or The Blair Witch Project, but the biggest by far is...
Lawrence of Arabia (1962, dir. David Lean) - Often considered one of the greatest films of all time, it's the highest ranking AFI list occupant that I haven't seen, and it's the tour de force that defines Peter O'Toole's career. Not to mention it had great Oscar success, and its score lives on as one of the all-time greats. Yet, I haven't seen it. Though my brother insists upon it year after year, I've just never had the insistent inclination to watch it. Could it be the nearly four-hour running time? Or even the barren landscape with nary a female character in sight? I attribute it to just pure dumb luck that I haven't seen the classic 1962 flick. What movie have you accidentally avoided for the longest time? Or is everyone more film literate than I am?
Lawrence of Arabia (1962, dir. David Lean) - Often considered one of the greatest films of all time, it's the highest ranking AFI list occupant that I haven't seen, and it's the tour de force that defines Peter O'Toole's career. Not to mention it had great Oscar success, and its score lives on as one of the all-time greats. Yet, I haven't seen it. Though my brother insists upon it year after year, I've just never had the insistent inclination to watch it. Could it be the nearly four-hour running time? Or even the barren landscape with nary a female character in sight? I attribute it to just pure dumb luck that I haven't seen the classic 1962 flick. What movie have you accidentally avoided for the longest time? Or is everyone more film literate than I am?
Labels:
Movie Memes
Friday, August 19, 2011
august MOVIE MEME, day 19: my least favorite action movie
...and on the other hand, it's far more likely to come across the worst of the genre. In this case, movies that were disappointing on so many levels there's really no way of coming across redeemable. Beg to differ? Get those comments in the section below!
Wild Wild West (1999, dir. Barry Sonnenfeld) - Now, I was never a fan of the original TV series - not that I actively disliked it, just that I never actually watched it. But I'm willing to bet this semi-atrocity probably did away with whatever was good about the original series in this explosive, look-what-we-can-do action romp. Fresh off of becoming the biggest star in the world thanks to Independence Day and Men in Black, Will Smith signed on to this western/sci-fi/action movie, probably with the best of intentions. I mean, the great Kevin Kline is his co-star, the beautiful Salma Hayek plays the love interest, and Shakespeare-approved Kenneth Branagh is the devilish villain. But then it turned out the story was weak, predictable, and not nearly as funny as the people behind it thought it was. It's best to forget this one ever happened, despite its inexplicable $200-million-plus worldwide gross.
Godzilla (1998, dir. Roland Emmerich) - I seriously doubt there's anyone who will find this entry surprising. It's essentially the pariah of monster movies, and it's primarily to do with the preposterous storyline (saying a lot considering we're talking about a giant lizard attacking a city) and the poorly chosen monster design. Not to mention, the dialogue is unforgivable. I saw it in theaters, so I'm not exactly able to quote it word-for-word, but not one of the central trio of Matthew Broderick, Maria Pitillo, and Hank Azaria plays a redeemable character in any way. I distinctly remember hoping that Godzilla destroyed them all and took over New York. Not that the old Godzilla movies are paragons of film achievement, but at least they're aware of what they are. This one is trying to be a legitimate modern action flick and falls completely flat.
Star Wars, Episode 1: The Phantom Menace (1999, dir. George Lucas) - Sure, this isn't exactly an imaginative choice. This movie was universally hated by pretty much every one of those nearly 200 million people around the world that went to it in theaters. But aside from the dry subplots - are Star Wars fans really that interested in galactic senate stuff as opposed to actual "star wars?" - and the atrocious acting - newly minted Academy Award winner Natalie Portman and otherwise skilled Liam Neeson are particularly offensive - the movie should've been fun on paper. Sure, the effects were pretty amazing at the time, but it's hard to buy into what the producers were thinking when the long-gestating project finally came to the big screen in this form. Is this really all that can come from 16 years off? (Please note that I managed to get through this whole write-up without even mentioning the infamous Jar Jar Binks.)
Wild Wild West (1999, dir. Barry Sonnenfeld) - Now, I was never a fan of the original TV series - not that I actively disliked it, just that I never actually watched it. But I'm willing to bet this semi-atrocity probably did away with whatever was good about the original series in this explosive, look-what-we-can-do action romp. Fresh off of becoming the biggest star in the world thanks to Independence Day and Men in Black, Will Smith signed on to this western/sci-fi/action movie, probably with the best of intentions. I mean, the great Kevin Kline is his co-star, the beautiful Salma Hayek plays the love interest, and Shakespeare-approved Kenneth Branagh is the devilish villain. But then it turned out the story was weak, predictable, and not nearly as funny as the people behind it thought it was. It's best to forget this one ever happened, despite its inexplicable $200-million-plus worldwide gross.
Godzilla (1998, dir. Roland Emmerich) - I seriously doubt there's anyone who will find this entry surprising. It's essentially the pariah of monster movies, and it's primarily to do with the preposterous storyline (saying a lot considering we're talking about a giant lizard attacking a city) and the poorly chosen monster design. Not to mention, the dialogue is unforgivable. I saw it in theaters, so I'm not exactly able to quote it word-for-word, but not one of the central trio of Matthew Broderick, Maria Pitillo, and Hank Azaria plays a redeemable character in any way. I distinctly remember hoping that Godzilla destroyed them all and took over New York. Not that the old Godzilla movies are paragons of film achievement, but at least they're aware of what they are. This one is trying to be a legitimate modern action flick and falls completely flat.
Star Wars, Episode 1: The Phantom Menace (1999, dir. George Lucas) - Sure, this isn't exactly an imaginative choice. This movie was universally hated by pretty much every one of those nearly 200 million people around the world that went to it in theaters. But aside from the dry subplots - are Star Wars fans really that interested in galactic senate stuff as opposed to actual "star wars?" - and the atrocious acting - newly minted Academy Award winner Natalie Portman and otherwise skilled Liam Neeson are particularly offensive - the movie should've been fun on paper. Sure, the effects were pretty amazing at the time, but it's hard to buy into what the producers were thinking when the long-gestating project finally came to the big screen in this form. Is this really all that can come from 16 years off? (Please note that I managed to get through this whole write-up without even mentioning the infamous Jar Jar Binks.)
Labels:
Movie Memes
Thursday, August 18, 2011
august MOVIE MEME, day 18: my favorite action movie
Ah, movie rarities. Perhaps the greatest one is this: a good action movie. Known most as shoot-'em-up, mindless blowings up of things, you don't often stumble upon a flick of this genre that really works on all levels. In this case, I've chosen to mention two such movies.
Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon (2000, dir. Ang Lee) - Though it's full of non-traditional action, at least by Western standards, this martial arts epic has to be considered "action" when it comes down to it. Starring Michelle Yeoh and Chow Yun-Fat, the movie follows a glorious story of love, valor, wisdom, and honor. And though Yeoh is wonderful as the matronly but secretly ferocious Shu Lien, newcomer Zhang Ziyi totally stole the show as the societally trapped fighting master Jen Yu. It combines all the elements of a good action movie: great performances, killer fight scenes, innovative techniques, beautiful art direction, and a timeless story. I just wish that all involved could return to this level of greatness again. Please tell me that Ang Lee is planning a rematch between Ziyi and Michelle soon...
Kill Bill, Vol. 1 (2003, dir. Quentin Tarantino) - Speaking of awesome fight scenes, this movie basically owns the concept. Basically a series of vignettes outlining revenge by Uma Thurman's "The Bride" against her many betrayers, Kill Bill brings not only Thurman's best performance but some of the best crafted scenes ever put to film. Even having to choose a favorite scene from just one volume of this two-parter is much too difficult.
Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon (2000, dir. Ang Lee) - Though it's full of non-traditional action, at least by Western standards, this martial arts epic has to be considered "action" when it comes down to it. Starring Michelle Yeoh and Chow Yun-Fat, the movie follows a glorious story of love, valor, wisdom, and honor. And though Yeoh is wonderful as the matronly but secretly ferocious Shu Lien, newcomer Zhang Ziyi totally stole the show as the societally trapped fighting master Jen Yu. It combines all the elements of a good action movie: great performances, killer fight scenes, innovative techniques, beautiful art direction, and a timeless story. I just wish that all involved could return to this level of greatness again. Please tell me that Ang Lee is planning a rematch between Ziyi and Michelle soon...
Kill Bill, Vol. 1 (2003, dir. Quentin Tarantino) - Speaking of awesome fight scenes, this movie basically owns the concept. Basically a series of vignettes outlining revenge by Uma Thurman's "The Bride" against her many betrayers, Kill Bill brings not only Thurman's best performance but some of the best crafted scenes ever put to film. Even having to choose a favorite scene from just one volume of this two-parter is much too difficult.
Labels:
Movie Memes
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
august MOVIE MEME, day 17: last double feature I pulled
And now for the latest double-time outing. Or, in this case, triple-time. A recent day spent at the movies allowed for this triple feature in the roaring metropolis of Omaha, Nebraska.
The Tree of Life (2011, dir. Terrence Malick) - What a way to start off the morning - yes, that's when I saw this trippy interpretative dance of a movie. The triple feature experience began with Malick's latest epically picturesque outing. Now, though it was tough to say how I truly felt about it immediately following the movie - particularly with the two mainstream flicks that followed - I've since decided it's one moving piece of cinema. Thanks to incredible cinematography and art direction, as well as some moving performances from the cast, it was definitely something that could be categorized as an "experience." But stepping away from the indie theater and on to the AMC megaplex, it's time for some yuks...
Horrible Bosses (2011, dir. Seth Gordon) - While the trailer boasted great potential and a fun cast, I was nervous about Horrible Bosses. Namely, I was nervous that it would fall victim to so many other comedies of the past few years - in which the trailer boasted the best laughs to come out of the script, which didn't end up offering much else in terms of ground-breaking humor. Now, it's far from a perfect movie, but thanks to some hooky casting (stars from my two all-time favorite shows - Ms. Aniston and Mr. Bateman - certainly didn't hurt in terms of getting me revved) and some out-of-the-box performing (Did anyone else find themselves kind of impressed by Colin Farrell's sleazy jackassing?) it excels just enough. I wish that they would've given Aniston a bit more to do - I will have an undying love for anyone Friends-related until my last breath, so haters be damned - but that in particular identifies the movie's biggest flaw: with three belittled employees and three bosses and their various sundry marital and job-related relations, there was too much ground to cover. It felt like all three stories lacked some needed development.
Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011, dir. Michael Bay) - Now it's my understanding that most critics and bloggers revile the Transformers movies. As the third entry in my day of movies, I certainly didn't expect it to have the depth of Tree of Life or the low-brow witticism of Horrible Bosses, but really what sort of expectations should one have when attending a summer blockbuster? It's rare that they can achieve the grandiose appeal of The Dark Knight or Spider-Man 2, so I tend to go into movies such as these for the popcorn effect. I don't seek out genius acting and a spellbinding screenplay. I go in looking for some amazing effects, some humorous moments (I'll never forget how great Shia LaBeouf's comedic timing was in the underrated Disney Channel show Even Stevens.), and to flat-out have fun. And that's what I got. Admittedly, the new Megan Fox prototype doesn't quite pack the punch of the petite brunette, but she serves her purpose as pretty scenery well enough. The geek in me has to appreciate the "awww, cool!" moments that movies such as these offer, despite their countless flaws.
The Tree of Life (2011, dir. Terrence Malick) - What a way to start off the morning - yes, that's when I saw this trippy interpretative dance of a movie. The triple feature experience began with Malick's latest epically picturesque outing. Now, though it was tough to say how I truly felt about it immediately following the movie - particularly with the two mainstream flicks that followed - I've since decided it's one moving piece of cinema. Thanks to incredible cinematography and art direction, as well as some moving performances from the cast, it was definitely something that could be categorized as an "experience." But stepping away from the indie theater and on to the AMC megaplex, it's time for some yuks...
Horrible Bosses (2011, dir. Seth Gordon) - While the trailer boasted great potential and a fun cast, I was nervous about Horrible Bosses. Namely, I was nervous that it would fall victim to so many other comedies of the past few years - in which the trailer boasted the best laughs to come out of the script, which didn't end up offering much else in terms of ground-breaking humor. Now, it's far from a perfect movie, but thanks to some hooky casting (stars from my two all-time favorite shows - Ms. Aniston and Mr. Bateman - certainly didn't hurt in terms of getting me revved) and some out-of-the-box performing (Did anyone else find themselves kind of impressed by Colin Farrell's sleazy jackassing?) it excels just enough. I wish that they would've given Aniston a bit more to do - I will have an undying love for anyone Friends-related until my last breath, so haters be damned - but that in particular identifies the movie's biggest flaw: with three belittled employees and three bosses and their various sundry marital and job-related relations, there was too much ground to cover. It felt like all three stories lacked some needed development.
Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011, dir. Michael Bay) - Now it's my understanding that most critics and bloggers revile the Transformers movies. As the third entry in my day of movies, I certainly didn't expect it to have the depth of Tree of Life or the low-brow witticism of Horrible Bosses, but really what sort of expectations should one have when attending a summer blockbuster? It's rare that they can achieve the grandiose appeal of The Dark Knight or Spider-Man 2, so I tend to go into movies such as these for the popcorn effect. I don't seek out genius acting and a spellbinding screenplay. I go in looking for some amazing effects, some humorous moments (I'll never forget how great Shia LaBeouf's comedic timing was in the underrated Disney Channel show Even Stevens.), and to flat-out have fun. And that's what I got. Admittedly, the new Megan Fox prototype doesn't quite pack the punch of the petite brunette, but she serves her purpose as pretty scenery well enough. The geek in me has to appreciate the "awww, cool!" moments that movies such as these offer, despite their countless flaws.
Labels:
Movie Memes
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
august MOVIE MEME, day 16: first double feature I pulled
Forgive me all of you (2 or 3) devoted readers - I'm back to play catch-up on my self-imposed meme devotional. We're returning with my first-ever experience doing a double feature way back in the year 1998...
The Parent Trap (1998, dir. Nancy Meyers) - Ah, Lindsay. Remember the days when she was the cutest kid actor ever and had a whole career ahead of her? Yeah... but I digress. Let's look at just this snapshot from 1998. In what turned out to be a wholly effective remake, in my opinion, Lohan heads up the cast as a pair of twins pulling a fast one on their estranged parents. Add to the already genial mix a pair of stellar performers in the parental roles - the often misused but secretly great Dennis Quaid and the late and breathtaking Natasha Richardson. And lest I forget my favorite element of the film, the hilarious Lisa Ann Walter as wisecracking housekeeper Chessy. Great fun and still a joy more than a decade later. But, after the credits rolled, I stuck around my local movieplex to see...
The Mask of Zorro (1998, dir. Martin Campbell) - Say what you will about the swashbuckling 90s flick, but you have to admit it was great fun. At the time, I thought it was pure genius. I've of course since softened to its mastery, but I still think it's a terrific romp. And lest we forget it basically singlehandedly introduced the United States to Catherine Zeta-Jones. Now if we could only convince her to come back to movies... Antonio Banderas is such an ideal choice for the lead, and though Anthony Hopkins may come off a little dry, he's a great mentor presence in the film. And I'd be remiss in not mentioning James Horner's rousing, if a bit predictable, score - I'm kind of surprised he managed to avoid an Oscar nomination for this one.
The Parent Trap (1998, dir. Nancy Meyers) - Ah, Lindsay. Remember the days when she was the cutest kid actor ever and had a whole career ahead of her? Yeah... but I digress. Let's look at just this snapshot from 1998. In what turned out to be a wholly effective remake, in my opinion, Lohan heads up the cast as a pair of twins pulling a fast one on their estranged parents. Add to the already genial mix a pair of stellar performers in the parental roles - the often misused but secretly great Dennis Quaid and the late and breathtaking Natasha Richardson. And lest I forget my favorite element of the film, the hilarious Lisa Ann Walter as wisecracking housekeeper Chessy. Great fun and still a joy more than a decade later. But, after the credits rolled, I stuck around my local movieplex to see...
The Mask of Zorro (1998, dir. Martin Campbell) - Say what you will about the swashbuckling 90s flick, but you have to admit it was great fun. At the time, I thought it was pure genius. I've of course since softened to its mastery, but I still think it's a terrific romp. And lest we forget it basically singlehandedly introduced the United States to Catherine Zeta-Jones. Now if we could only convince her to come back to movies... Antonio Banderas is such an ideal choice for the lead, and though Anthony Hopkins may come off a little dry, he's a great mentor presence in the film. And I'd be remiss in not mentioning James Horner's rousing, if a bit predictable, score - I'm kind of surprised he managed to avoid an Oscar nomination for this one.
Labels:
Movie Memes
Monday, August 15, 2011
august MOVIE MEME, day 15: an actor I'm ashamed to hate
And the titles keep getting a little too extreme. I'm not entirely "ashamed" per se of my feelings for the following two actors. And then again, I don't actually hate them either. In fact, I've found them both tolerable on some occasions. (And hate is just such a mean word, right?)
First off, Mr. Paul Giamatti. An Oscar-nominated actor, I've never truly understood his acclaim. I've never seen his breakthrough role in American Splendor, mind you, but I've seen the two facets of his acting abilities: gruff grumpy-gus and hammy emphaticon. The former was utilized in Sideways, in which I'm fairly certain he was at least partially playing himself? Or maybe I just insulted his real-life personality. Either way, I found his performance entirely one-note and blank. And then there's the latter, perfectly utilized in his Oscar-nom'd role in Cinderella Man. He just must have one of those faces that read hammy no matter what. Insanely over-the-top. On to Philip Seymour Hoffman. He's redeemed himself a bit, for me, in films like The Savages and Mary and Max, but his other ridiculously cartoonish performances, including his Oscared role in Capote, are just too grating for my tastes. And don't even get me started on Charlie Wilson's War. How do you feel about these two gents? Am I missing something, or do they perplex you as much as they do me?
First off, Mr. Paul Giamatti. An Oscar-nominated actor, I've never truly understood his acclaim. I've never seen his breakthrough role in American Splendor, mind you, but I've seen the two facets of his acting abilities: gruff grumpy-gus and hammy emphaticon. The former was utilized in Sideways, in which I'm fairly certain he was at least partially playing himself? Or maybe I just insulted his real-life personality. Either way, I found his performance entirely one-note and blank. And then there's the latter, perfectly utilized in his Oscar-nom'd role in Cinderella Man. He just must have one of those faces that read hammy no matter what. Insanely over-the-top. On to Philip Seymour Hoffman. He's redeemed himself a bit, for me, in films like The Savages and Mary and Max, but his other ridiculously cartoonish performances, including his Oscared role in Capote, are just too grating for my tastes. And don't even get me started on Charlie Wilson's War. How do you feel about these two gents? Am I missing something, or do they perplex you as much as they do me?
Labels:
Movie Memes
Sunday, August 14, 2011
august MOVIE MEME, day 14: an actor I'm ashamed to love
Now that we've got the vile sci-fi entry out of the way, let's go back to shame-based blogging. Now, perhaps shame is sort of a strong word in this case. See, I openly adore this actress, so I clearly have no problem advertising it. Perhaps it's more along the lines of "actor I should be ashamed to love."
I know that people are still miffed about her Blind Side Oscar win, but I'm here to defend Sandra Bullock. It's really a shame, first of all, that it took so long for her to get any kind of recognition - after 20 years in the business. She's a wonderful actress, in my opinion, and it certainly doesn't help that she seems like possibly the nicest actress working. Some find her one-dimensional, and I would direct them to some of her best performances that got overlooked. As far as her slew of romantic comedies go, my favorites are While You Were Sleeping and Miss Congeniality (though the latter is really more of a girl-power movie than a true romantic comedy). And it turns out she's done some great drama work as well. Even though Crash was highly overrated come Oscar night, Bullock delivered an out-of-type and complicated performance. And I think that critics and audiences really downplayed her work in 28 Days as well. So how do you feel about Ms. Bullock? Are you willing to concede, along with me, that there's more to her than a girl-next-door romantic lead or are you still one of those stubborn fuddy-duddies still filled with bile over Blind Side?
I know that people are still miffed about her Blind Side Oscar win, but I'm here to defend Sandra Bullock. It's really a shame, first of all, that it took so long for her to get any kind of recognition - after 20 years in the business. She's a wonderful actress, in my opinion, and it certainly doesn't help that she seems like possibly the nicest actress working. Some find her one-dimensional, and I would direct them to some of her best performances that got overlooked. As far as her slew of romantic comedies go, my favorites are While You Were Sleeping and Miss Congeniality (though the latter is really more of a girl-power movie than a true romantic comedy). And it turns out she's done some great drama work as well. Even though Crash was highly overrated come Oscar night, Bullock delivered an out-of-type and complicated performance. And I think that critics and audiences really downplayed her work in 28 Days as well. So how do you feel about Ms. Bullock? Are you willing to concede, along with me, that there's more to her than a girl-next-door romantic lead or are you still one of those stubborn fuddy-duddies still filled with bile over Blind Side?
Labels:
Movie Memes
Saturday, August 13, 2011
august MOVIE MEME, day 13: my least favorite sci-fi movie
Now that we've gotten the sci-fi love out of the way, it's time for the ire. Now, I know my choice is awfully recent, but I guess I've managed to avoid the bad sci-fi movies of years past. And this one was pretty terrible. Trust me.
Skyline (2010, dir. Colin Strause) - Let's start off with the basic concept: aliens stop by earth to pick up some cargo - humans - for who knows what? A bunch of good-looking rich people who blow their money on wild partying and spending time complaining about how empty their lives are are our heroes. And we're meant to feel sorry for them when they have to hightail it away from some vicious aliens out to harvest their bodies or something. And therein lies the problem. Unlikable characters who are being attacked for a very loose, seemingly nonexistent reason. The movie is poorly written, there isn't even a halfways decent performance in the bunch, and you leave the movie not really caring that the lead characters have been abducted or maimed or what have you. On top of that, some people were actually bamboozled into paying 3-D prices for this. Sad, sad day. And I'm not even talking about the alien apocalypse.
Skyline (2010, dir. Colin Strause) - Let's start off with the basic concept: aliens stop by earth to pick up some cargo - humans - for who knows what? A bunch of good-looking rich people who blow their money on wild partying and spending time complaining about how empty their lives are are our heroes. And we're meant to feel sorry for them when they have to hightail it away from some vicious aliens out to harvest their bodies or something. And therein lies the problem. Unlikable characters who are being attacked for a very loose, seemingly nonexistent reason. The movie is poorly written, there isn't even a halfways decent performance in the bunch, and you leave the movie not really caring that the lead characters have been abducted or maimed or what have you. On top of that, some people were actually bamboozled into paying 3-D prices for this. Sad, sad day. And I'm not even talking about the alien apocalypse.
Labels:
Movie Memes
Friday, August 12, 2011
august MOVIE MEME, day 12: my favorite sci-fi movie
Ah, sci-fi. Whether you're an avid watcher of the F-grade fare that the channel formerly known as, well, sci-fi used to show or the quality Sigourney-starring, space opera types, the genre has a little bit of something for any type. Here's my favorite (I think)...
WALLlE (2008, dir. Andrew Stanton) - Yeah, I don't know if it really counts in this category so much as in the "uplifting work of genius" category. But in all technicality, this one's sci-fi. Just look at the alien-like robots and the space travel. (Although, if we count Jurassic Park as sci-fi at all, it would probably trump the poor cleaning robot.) This one's an easy call all in all though. I know there are a select few who aren't big fans of this movie, but I will absolutely never understand why. It's beautiful and moving from start to finish, and it stars some of the most endearing characters in film history - and they just happen to be artificial. As far as the sci-fi angle goes, the beautifully animated Axiom and the barren wasteland of former-Earth trump a lot of the work being done by the genre movies for adults. Then again, we wouldn't expect much less from Pixar. (That is until this year, I suppose.) What did you think of WALL-E? Did it move you to eternal adoration or otherwise?
WALLlE (2008, dir. Andrew Stanton) - Yeah, I don't know if it really counts in this category so much as in the "uplifting work of genius" category. But in all technicality, this one's sci-fi. Just look at the alien-like robots and the space travel. (Although, if we count Jurassic Park as sci-fi at all, it would probably trump the poor cleaning robot.) This one's an easy call all in all though. I know there are a select few who aren't big fans of this movie, but I will absolutely never understand why. It's beautiful and moving from start to finish, and it stars some of the most endearing characters in film history - and they just happen to be artificial. As far as the sci-fi angle goes, the beautifully animated Axiom and the barren wasteland of former-Earth trump a lot of the work being done by the genre movies for adults. Then again, we wouldn't expect much less from Pixar. (That is until this year, I suppose.) What did you think of WALL-E? Did it move you to eternal adoration or otherwise?
Labels:
Movie Memes
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)



























